you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
