I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
