I'm lost and stupid without you.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
