I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
