this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
