is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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