My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
