So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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