You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
