And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
