i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
