people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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