Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
