is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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