Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
