actually, I'm a sock model
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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