Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
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