Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Randomize
