I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
