Tell her she can't have a vagina
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i think i just lost a toe
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
