idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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