Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
