careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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