And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
