Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
