Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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