i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
