so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
