I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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