I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
