I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
