Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
