Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
