Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
