Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
