Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
