So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
