you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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