Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
