I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
