I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
