There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
