I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
