what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
