I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
