Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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