i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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