It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
