just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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