pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
