I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
