Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
40s are totally the cure
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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