I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My bed smells like the plague
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
we should paint friendship bongs
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
